Watching a trailer for Vidcon might leave you more confused than you were before pressing play. In two and a half minutes, I can read you a super-condensed essay on what it’s really all about.
Why Aren’t You Applying to Neurosurgeon Jobs?
Since high school I’ve owned a book called “The Mission” that the internet says never existed. It had little challenges to try every day, from “drink a glass of water while peeing” to “apply for a job as a neurosurgeon.” I’ve tried both, but the latter is more important and requires less paper towels.
Dome Improvement 13
1. Everybody likes getting choked. Some people don’t like being choked from the front, but they like it from the back and call it a “massage.”
Skyler Spence’s “Fiona Coyne”
Humanity’s biggest lie is “I can’t dance.” As if you pop out the womb Bobby Flaying on a chipotle pepper without first thumbing through a couple GourmetRamenHacks.jpg to ease into the intermediate.
Dome Improvement 12
1. If there’s a “free shipping” sale online, don’t go ham. Copping many jawns is a waste of a shipsale. Big cops already come with free postage anyway, so now’s your time to snag just one grailpiece.
Dome Improvement 11
1. If you’re gonna turn up on a weekday, lay out a super nice outfit for the next day. Roll out of bed hung over and slip a fit on. Everybody will be too busy complimenting you to notice the Filsons under your eyes.
LAKE’s “No Wonder I”
NEWSFLASH, BITCH. BUTTER is safe again! That emoji does NOT mean what you think it does! Your almilk’s got carrageenan? You’re as good as dead! ATTACK! DECAY! BITCRUSH! SQUAREWAVE! REGGAE-HORN!
Dome Improvement 10
1. Once a month, use the word “cooter” around someone you love. Document their reactions and keep them in a safe journal for a few years. Write a dissertation on your findings. I pray that with time, cooter could become the c-word our society so desperately needs.