Stwo’s “Syrup”

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Real talk, everyone’s whiter than they like to admit. I’ll plop a Jolly into my Delsym every now and then for effect, but it’d take a hell of a cold to get me to swap my kombucha for codeine.

Shaq’s First Cooking Class

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Today swagless cretins from around the world can sign up for my Udemy class and learn how to trick people into thinking they can cook. As a reward for visiting this trash pile of a blog, use the coupon code “get-large” for a big fat discount on the class.

813’s “Crying Flute”

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DJ Detweiler is the best DJ name I’ve ever heard. Couple that with the fact that all his uploads are recorder-covered Smash Mouth-laden jabs and you’ve got a powerhouse of obscurity.

Aquadrop’s “Dega Dega”

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Dega Dega is the chief auditory quinceañera simulator. Things start off precious, poppy, and wrapped in white lace until the ‘ñera herself starts pussy popping on the bizcocho table in her new Payless heels.