Stan By Your Man

ShaquilleThe Ivory TowerLeave a Comment

In the olden days, when you would say, “I really like the idea of dragons fucking tailpipes“, everyone would tell you to stop being weird, and you’d continue your entire existence as a productive member of society. Nowadays, if you wax the same pipedream, you’ll find a subreddit specifically for your weird fetish

Why Aren’t You Applying to Neurosurgeon Jobs?

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Since high school I’ve owned a book called “The Mission” that the internet says never existed. It had little challenges to try every day, from “drink a glass of water while peeing” to “apply for a job as a neurosurgeon.” I’ve tried both, but the latter is more important and requires less paper towels.

The Future Sucks

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Genesis: Free forbidden fruit. Its consumption dooms our planet for eternity. 2015: The second coming. We blew it again. It’s no wonder we’re stuck here with the Trumps and Kardashians of the world. We’ve had our shots at happiness, and we blew ’em like Ray J.