Sometimes when you wake up an hour before company is supposed to show up, and you try to shoot gastro-footage on not much sleep and very much alcohol, you forget to actually talk about the ingredients, the amounts, and the process. It makes for a decent semi-blog, but it’s nothing that’ll ever step foot in the Barefoot Contessa’s timeslot. Here are the recipes:

Apéritif: Rumchata

1. Follow Tastemade’s recipe for Mexican horchata
2. Add a lil dark rum, but don’t overpower this delicious ‘chata.

Amuse-bouche: Togarashi Cucumbers

1. Peel a cucumber, then cut it in half lengthwise
2. Spoon the seeds out.
3. Slice each cucumber half into c-shaped slices
4. Toss with a mixture of equal parts togarashi, brown sugar, and salt

First Course: Contramar Tostadas

1. Follow Contramar’s recipe for tuna tostadas
2. Add a lil lemongrass and orange juice to the marinade, tho

Second Course: Huevos Rancheros

1. Cook chorizo until it’s super dark brown, and add good salsa to the pan
2. Char small corn tortillas over a fire, then move them to a serving plate
3. Cook several eggs sunny-side up with salt and pepper
4. Top the tortillas with black beans, then the chorizo-salsa, then one egg per tortilla
5. Top each egg with crumbled cotija, chopped cilantro, and sliced avocado
6. Top avocado with finishing salt and garnish with lime

Third Course: Churro French Toast

1. Make french toast the same way you usually do
2. Dust finished french toast with equal parts cinnamon and sugar
3. Make a super basic frosting, but with Mexican crema instead of milk
4. Drizzle frosting over toast and garnish with a shot of insulin

Digestif: A Nameless Sewer Trash Cocktail

1. Mix up a batch of Tropical Punch flavored Kool-Aid
2. Add several glugs of UV Grape vodka
3. Dump in an entire Miller Lite
4. Pour into a quart container filled with Sonic ice, and discard immediately