Category Archive

There’s a lot of shit I’ll never understand– a first thing, a second thing, and the first thirty seconds of this track. When Clutterbuck crackles into the scene like two fistfuls of glow bracelets splintering orange light into a rayless blast freezer, I don’t know what the technique is called.

Humanity’s biggest lie is “I can’t dance.” As if you pop out the womb Bobby Flaying on a chipotle pepper without first thumbing through a couple GourmetRamenHacks.jpg to ease into the intermediate.

NEWSFLASH, BITCH. BUTTER is safe again! That emoji does NOT mean what you think it does! Your almilk’s got carrageenan? You’re as good as dead! ATTACK! DECAY! BITCRUSH! SQUAREWAVE! REGGAE-HORN!

Finally, the world has a feel-good Pharrell tune! I’m just so… HAPPY! Now, Idle Earth doesn’t have much else apart from this, but kudos to them for recognizing the remixability of Aerosol Can’s unrelenting barrage of hashtag lyrics

You ever thrown a dance party, dog? Not the shoulder-to-shoulder Natty pong fests where the babes chill outside pretending to like cigarettes to avoid the shouts of a zuppa-toscana-level sausage shack inside.

I fret over makeup too much. Maybe cause I spent 20+ years never noticing how much it runs the trap.

At what point does a remix, remake, or tribute become straight theft?

Sometimes you’re given something dope to make whatever you want of it— a blank check and a Montblanc.

They say Summer bodies are made in the Winter. Well, shit. Here I is lookin’ sloppy in a gucci boardshort and you go on and catch all hope’s body.

Real talk, everyone’s whiter than they like to admit. I’ll plop a Jolly into my Delsym every now and then for effect, but it’d take a hell of a cold to get me to swap my kombucha for codeine.