You ever thrown a dance party, dog? Not the shoulder-to-shoulder Natty pong fests where the babes chill outside pretending to like cigarettes to avoid the shouts of a zuppa-toscana-level sausage shack inside. I’m talkin’ dance parties: Annoying lights, the banginest speakers you can swipe off a truck, and a distinct lack of plastic bottle vodka Safeway brand juice drink cocktails. One thing you gotta know about dance parties is 10:00-11:00. It’s the most uncomfortable hour of the night, where sober dopes file in on time before an appropriate number of attendants exists to even call it a party. That’s what this shit’s for. For at least an hour, something’s gotta be chill enough to not make you look like a nerd with no friends blaring Tiesto to a party of 5, but encourage enough drinking to have an actual event happening by the time that artsy chick with the unnecessary glasses and standoffish attitude drops by to scoff at the whole spectacle. She’s definitely gonna come right? Yeah. Yeah, definitely.