NEWSFLASH, BITCH. BUTTER is safe again! That emoji does NOT mean what you think it does! Your almilk’s got carrageenan? You’re as good as dead! ATTACK! DECAY! BITCRUSH! SQUAREWAVE! REGGAE-HORN! You’ll never keep up with ALL THE FACTS and there is always something about to KILL YOU! That last Tinder swipe just butterfly-effected your future wife into the neon paws of a CLOSETED FURRY! WHY ARE YOU EVEN READING THIS?! Shouldn’t you be developing an APP or something?!
(If you’re still here, lick back and enjoy LAKE. L-A-K-E an acronym for the band members’ names, and the all-caps is the closest they’ll get to loud noises.)