Plants have a life cycle, including death.

If you’re like me, you just assumed everything you grew was supposed to behave like a redwood tree. If a plant dies, it’s entirely my fault, right? But growing food is seasonal. When you plant winter kale, it’s gonna “bolt” once the temperature warms up. The leaves will get bitter and the plant will focus on producing seeds to live though its babies.

Plants need food, water, light, and air.

Most of us are only taught half that list. That means we don’t fertilize our houseplants or our backyard lettuce. It means we cram overgrown root balls into compacted soil with no room to breathe.

Hydroponic isn’t a dirty word

It’s hard to tell, based on your local hydroponics store most likely being named “Field of Herb” or something equally conspicuous, but hydroponic gardening at home is the easiest way for a noob to get fast results and high yields. But hydroponic setups can be expensive. I’ve found that the inexpensive lovechild of traditional container gardening and hydroponic reservoirs is Leon’s “Wicking Tubs” (aka S.I.P.’s)

Some plants are easier than others.

Some things are like lettuces, radishes, and herbs. They grow quickly, don’t need much fertilizer, and thrive in otherwise less-than-optimal conditions. Flowers, on the other hand, are the most difficult type of plant. Flowers are sensitive to pollinators, temperatures, airflow, water availability, soil type, and light levels. They need a certain nutrient balance in their vegetative phase, then a different nutrient balance in the blooming phase. Here comes the bad news: all fruit comes from flowers. If you want to grow any kind of fruit (or dank ass kush), be aware that you’ve got to grow flowers. If you’d rather avoid the heartache, stick to leafy greens, tubers, alliums, and rhizomes.

Depending on your zone, spring and fall are the times to get going.

I’m publishing this in the dead of summer because summer and winter are the times of year where you can take your time and get a plan in place.

People want to help you.

Gardening isn’t a hobby like photography. Putting two gardeners in a room won’t result in a combative pissing contest. In general, everyone in the community wants you to succeed. There is a limitless number of Youtube channels, blogs, and neighbors that have tons of help specific to your needs, your preferences, and your local climate. Get out there and dig in.